Damage Scale

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Grade 0 – No damage

We are good friends. Almost family. We go on outings and holidays together with our children. We help each other out. That’s what friends do.


Grade 1 – Slight damage (hairline cracks in a few walls)

You are late. Again. But it’s no problem – I know you have a lot of responsibilities. Still, it would be nice if you’d let me know. I babysit for you while you enjoy yourself. I don’t mind. As you keep pointing out, you need the break.


Grade 2 – Moderate damage (fall of large pieces of plaster)

You do not listen when I speak. You do not even hear. You don’t accept any opinion other than your own. You talk over me and do not stop until I shut up. You are going through a hard time. It is making you this way. Maybe when it is all over, we can go back to how we were.


Grade 3 – Heavy damage (large and extensive cracks in walls)

Your expectations of me are unreasonable. You put me in impossible positions. I take care of your children to the detriment of my own and myself. I feel resentful and confused. You do not see me.


Grade 4 – Very heavy damage (serious structural failure)

We argue. You give me a glimpse of what you think of me. I do not like it. You believe you are superior to me in every way. That I am weak. That you know better. My opinion does not count. You have little or no respect for me. My feelings are invalid.


Grade 5 – Destruction (total collapse)

I hear nothing from you. Not that it matters. You do not comprehend where the problem lies and never will. You cannot apologise if you have no idea what you are apologising for. We are done.


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